In my younger days, I thought of myself as ‘diet averse’, meaning that if I ate in a healthful way, I would never need to ‘diet’. I realized in my teens that my weight and lean/fat ratio could fluctuate wildly with my emotions and activity. I’ve had many episodes of feeling like I really loved the way I looked, felt and lived, but those episodes were sporadic and short-lived. I always seemed to put the weight back on, especially the belly fat. I pondered why some people could eat whatever they wanted to, healthy or not, and stay thin, why some women were able to return to their pre-pregnancy shape seemingly without effort and why I could be fit but not feel like I looked fit. I was embarrassed about the fat I’d put on to the point that I would not accept invitations to go to events because I didn’t like the way my clothes fit me. I felt others looked down on me-I now realize that this was a false perception-no one looked down on me, but me. I was tired of not looking like I wanted to, not feeling the way I wanted to, physically, emotionally, spiritually

I felt that I had a handle on my spiritual and emotional life; it was the physical that caused the most pain for me, literally and metaphorically, but I wanted to turn a blind eye to this.

Somewhere in my Forties, I’d hit a breaking point. I decided it was time to try something drastic. This was the beginning of my ‘diet’ journey. This is when the emotional tie of wanting a diet to fix me and make me look good, feel good, BE good, took hold. You may have discovered for yourself; one doesn’t get fixed by something outside; it must come from within. I really wanted a quick fix…it didn’t go well.

Several years ago, a wise friend of mine started to make some dramatic personal changes. She was able to really dig deep. She looked at so many of her life decisions and realized that they were based in fear, not love. She gave me a phrase that had become her guide; “What would Love do?” While my friend was not the originator of this phrase, I saw how this simple idea allowed her to view life through a different lens. She became more centered, more open hearted. She applied this idea to everything from how she spent her money and time to what she ate.

I began applying this idea of “what would Love do?” to my life. I looked at all of my actions, including eating. I was ready to love myself; this was a slow process for me, a lot of ups and downs.

What I began to realize was that as I changed my internal lens, my external world and appearance started to change. This wasn’t magic, but it did become joyful and remains so. As I decided to pass on the things like grains and sugar, I noticed that I didn’t have pain in my joints or moodiness. What I also noticed was feelings of not wanting appear ‘fussy’ or ‘aloof’ came up. Whaaat?? I didn’t even know that this line of conditioning was a part of me! I was afraid of how others viewed me. Not only was this not loving, it was very ego centered and fear based! Now I was digging deep!

When I learned to ask if what I was eating, doing, thinking, feeling, was a loving action to myself, I saw the places that needed more attention. I realized that I wasn’t broken, I wasn’t lazy or doomed to be ‘fluffy’ for the rest of my life. No one was as unkind to me as I was to myself. I learned the way to lasting change for me is Love.

Now that I have my love lens on, I can be gentler with myself, more forgiving and kinder. I no longer buy foods that make me feel bad. If I’m in a situation, such as being out at an event where I don’t have control of the menu, I can be gracious, I can enjoy what’s being offered and the people I’m with, without guilt or fear of being judged.

Learning to love myself and let go of judgment and fear have allowed me to view myself through a different lens. Love and change. What a beautiful thing!

I’m here to assist you with a new and loving perspective of yourself. Together, we can find the Love lens that fits you!